# Feeling rejected when you are the one who avoids others

**URL:** <https://briarfray.org/t/feeling-rejected-when-you-are-the-one-who-avoids-others/1199>\
**Category:** Psychology & Sexuality\
**Created:** [November 5, 2026, 9:56pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/feeling-rejected-when-you-are-the-one-who-avoids-others/1199 "2026-11-05T21:56:06Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![IndigoWizard](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/indigowizard/32/367_2.png) [@IndigoWizard](https://briarfray.org/u/IndigoWizard)\
**Post date:** [November 5, 2026, 9:56pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/feeling-rejected-when-you-are-the-one-who-avoids-others/1199/1 "2026-11-05T21:56:06Z")

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Is it possible to be a person who rejects others passively yet feels after the fact as if they have been rejected by most people (including emotions of inferiority/deviance/defectiveness for this disconnect, or for feeling that it’s not possible to connect with those one has chosen to reject)?

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**Author:** ![LostSaxon](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/lostsaxon/32/778_2.png) [@LostSaxon](https://briarfray.org/u/LostSaxon)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2026, 5:12pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/feeling-rejected-when-you-are-the-one-who-avoids-others/1199/2 "2026-11-06T17:12:12Z")

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I reject most people, or don’t make an effort to get to know them because they are already obviously not going to get along with me. But I think the sense of dejection arises not from unconsciously desiring these peoples approval, but by not having a substantial counter example.  
Their opinions don’t matter much to me. I just wish I could find more people in real life whose opinions I do actually value. And because I can’t seem to find those people, it just feels depressing to constantly feel like an alien in their presence.