# Fellers, am I schizophrenic? **URL:** \ **Category:** Not for Posterity\ **Created:** [October 29, 2026, 11:55am UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173 "2026-10-29T11:55:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![IndigoWizard](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/indigowizard/32/367_2.png) [@IndigoWizard](https://briarfray.org/u/IndigoWizard)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 11:55am UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173/1 "2026-10-29T11:55:10Z")
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**Author:** ![buddy\_vestigial](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/buddy_vestigial/32/871_2.png) [@buddy\_vestigial](https://briarfray.org/u/buddy_vestigial)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 1:12pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173/2 "2026-10-29T13:12:58Z")
No but this is like the ‘maladaptive daydreaming’ version of navel gazing. You’re just finding clever rationalizations to not do the work. It’s more fun to think about the work than the work itself. If you’re not yet Christian, I think you may find value in the following texts. Pyschocybernetics - Maxwell Maltz (the most practical) Prometheus Rising - Robert Anton Wilson (kind of woo wooey) There’s kernels of useful truth in each of these relevant to your current thought processes. Hope these help if you haven’t read them already. ---
**Author:** ![0CK](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/0ck/32/803_2.png) [@0CK](https://briarfray.org/u/0CK)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 3:13pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173/3 "2026-10-29T15:13:01Z")
I don’t have solid metaphysics yet, so I can’t answer you there- but don’t you want to preserve the sanctity of the coin flip? Are impulsive coin-flips a problem? I write some (unreleased) chaos gacha fiction- and I do some test-runs to make sure the system I’ve set up doesn’t spiral out of control too fast. Then naturally I get crazy interesting rolls that I would love to be the real story, but I have to leave those as what they are- fun ideas, but not anything true to the spirit of rolling with the punches. ---
**Author:** ![IndigoWizard](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/indigowizard/32/367_2.png) [@IndigoWizard](https://briarfray.org/u/IndigoWizard)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 5:16pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173/4 "2026-10-29T17:16:03Z")
> [@buddy\_vestigial](#): > > You’re just finding clever rationalizations to not do the work No, I actually find myself wanting to do the work but feeling like I’ve irrevocably mutilated myself in an intangible way that can’t be fixed. I’m presently coping by saying “If canon isn’t what I want it to be, then there is no canon” and “Death of the author will make it so that if things ‘secretly aren’t how they are presented’, they will be in the lesser canon formed within peoples’ minds” ---
**Author:** ![IndigoWizard](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/indigowizard/32/367_2.png) [@IndigoWizard](https://briarfray.org/u/IndigoWizard)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 5:16pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173/5 "2026-10-29T17:16:39Z")
> [@0CK](#): > > but don’t you want to preserve the sanctity of the coin flip? Are impulsive coin-flips a problem? No and yes, respectively. ---
**Author:** ![buddy\_vestigial](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/buddy_vestigial/32/871_2.png) [@buddy\_vestigial](https://briarfray.org/u/buddy_vestigial)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 5:49pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173/6 "2026-10-29T17:49:58Z")
Sure but you have to understand that from the outside looking in this literally reads like “I find myself wanting to do the work but [reason that insists upon itself I don’t want to do the work]” Once you resolve this neurosis you’ll just come up with another to self sabotage yourself in some other multilayered and cognitively knotted way because you’re not addressing the root cause. Which is you’re not using your intellect as an accelerator but as a parking brake you’re trying to override as if you’re not the one that pulled it in the first place and can release it any time yourself. ---
**Author:** ![IndigoWizard](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/indigowizard/32/367_2.png) [@IndigoWizard](https://briarfray.org/u/IndigoWizard)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 5:59pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173/7 "2026-10-29T17:59:06Z")
So to clarify, you don’t believe there’s any self-existent system of ownership that exists in the abstract that would allow my to permanently forfeit rights to a non-person? ---
**Author:** ![Slinking\_Agony](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/slinking_agony/32/842_2.png) [@Slinking\_Agony](https://briarfray.org/u/Slinking_Agony)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 6:24pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173/8 "2026-10-29T18:24:12Z")
AI is for lazy, capitalistic, fascist pigs! Tells you what to do, what to think, where to go… Dulls your brain! ---
**Author:** ![buddy\_vestigial](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/buddy_vestigial/32/871_2.png) [@buddy\_vestigial](https://briarfray.org/u/buddy_vestigial)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 6:27pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173/9 "2026-10-29T18:27:31Z")
My chicken bones say no :^) ---
**Author:** ![mementomori](https://briarfray.org/user_avatar/briarfray.org/mementomori/32/879_2.png) [@mementomori](https://briarfray.org/u/mementomori)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 7:03pm UTC](https://briarfray.org/t/fellers-am-i-schizophrenic/1173/10 "2026-10-29T19:03:06Z")
Not sure if you’re schizophrenic but I think this site attracts a lot of schizo-spectrums. At first I thought your concern was that you were worried about retconning your story. Authors already do this a lot so what’s the big deal? But then there’s something about being held hostage by a coin-flip entity/demon to basically obey what the coin flips outcome is? Very loosely it reminded me of my other schizo friend who wanted me to do a tarot reading for her. I happily read the cards for her and then suggested things she could do to help achieve her own goals. Instead she wanted me to do another reading and ask the cards instead. So I did but I was concerned with her lack of agency. It felt like she was asking an external cosmic force (the cards) to make decisions for her. (Personally I use tarot to brainstorm or get inspiration, not to make decisions and answers for me.) However I think this lack of agency, comes from a place of learned helplessness. The learned helplessness mind thinks it is incapable of achieving independently therefore an external assistance is required to function at all. However if someone acquired learned helplessness they might also be hurt in other ways such as feeling targeted, that then causes an internal schism of needing dependence and independence. Thus dependent feelings externalize to non-living non-human “entities”. It’s probably why randomizers (such as coin flips and tarot) are appealing to schizotypy. But yes, learned helplessness externalizing as some sort of cosmic mechanism does seem to be a commonality among my schizo friends. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=shared&v=glyDdMF7bkQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=shared&v=glyDdMF7bkQ)