Is it possible to be a person who rejects others passively yet feels after the fact as if they have been rejected by most people (including emotions of inferiority/deviance/defectiveness for this disconnect, or for feeling that it’s not possible to connect with those one has chosen to reject)?
I reject most people, or don’t make an effort to get to know them because they are already obviously not going to get along with me. But I think the sense of dejection arises not from unconsciously desiring these peoples approval, but by not having a substantial counter example.
Their opinions don’t matter much to me. I just wish I could find more people in real life whose opinions I do actually value. And because I can’t seem to find those people, it just feels depressing to constantly feel like an alien in their presence.