Telling someone beset with a terrible affliction that their affliction is good and beautiful in and of itself is inherently cruel. Doing so because you think that it somehow makes the affliction better does not make it less of a cruelty to them, even if it makes it less cruel on your part. The reason it does the latter is because in doing so you reveal that what it really is on your part is stupidity.
It doesn’t matter that you’re trying to see the beauty of the person that’s still under there, because you’re nonetheless denying the tragedy of all the fulfillment that that person may never acheive because of their affliction. You’re denying them the (uncomtemptful) pity they deserve, and simultaneously using the tyranny of pathos to force the world at large not to call this what it is: A terrible tragedy. A terrible misery. A terrible fate. All in lieu of ‘being nice’, when, again, you’re being cruel, out of stupidity.
There is a difference between an unusual subjective perception that favors what is usually rejected on a near-equally subjective basis, and outright denial of something that is unequivocally debilitating to a person’s ability to experience personhood to the fullest.
If it were merely cosmetic, I could breathe a sigh of relief. But it still woudn’t be okay to force everyone to pretend they like it. To force the world to blind its own eyes and standards to give your child fake affirmation. That just pisses me off. Better that the truth be apparent, that all love is in spite of the face, rather than force that charity into the form of a lie that there is no such charity going on.