Do people attack your grammar, IndigoWizard?
Not really, apart from that one college professor. I was making fun of the perceived slight that Grammarly ads are to me.
https://www.deviantart.com/stash/01nafpnul6sn
https://www.deviantart.com/stash/0n2rmlr9uqw
https://www.deviantart.com/stash/026n1sl3hpxh
https://www.deviantart.com/stash/02y88q5f0gg
https://www.deviantart.com/stash/01us16whscvx
https://www.deviantart.com/stash/0f74da37p7v
https://www.deviantart.com/stash/0u4vbxt1pvo
https://www.deviantart.com/stash/029rx5e5x8be
https://www.deviantart.com/stash/0hhrg0fo1rx
https://www.deviantart.com/stash/0hnvbgd9mfh
I think you’re using too much text 
Cool furry art.
Redpill me the castration fetish. Seems like the worst thing ever. How is it appealing?
The first time I read about it was from a masochistic personality. When one thinks they deserve nothing then it somewhat makes sense to then take away everything. However I usually think masochism is a type of bartering. Like I assume the masochist who sees themselves as inferior then “barters” things (agency,control,favors,disagreeability,etc) away for affection/sex. So basically the idea of “bartering their sex tool away for the goal of…sex?” breaks my brain.
Also I’m allosexual or something so romantic love is not really “valid" to me unless there is sex. Which only makes understanding this more confusing.
It started when I was a kid that knew about sex because my mom sat me down and explained it to me (I think I was nine when she did), but I found it really gross and for some reason thought it would be painful. I can’t fully remember why I thought it was gross, I guess just a general disdain for the appearance of my own genitalia and the apparent crudeness of pulling out that ugly thing and using it to puke some slime into a crevice in a woman to mix with some other slime and make a baby.
Anyway, also when I was young, I heard my mom say that a certain character on TV who was beating his wife should be castrated, and I asked what that meant, and she semi-erroneously said “it’s when you cut the penis and balls off a man” or something like that. I fixated on that, I might have thought of genital amputation before, and I started looking up stuff like “cut off your penis” and would actually spend significant time looking at pictures of people with removed genitals in the same way that a normal-er kid would look at porn. I think this might have even been before I learned to coom.
Anyway, my fixation slowly changed from removal of the penis and sometimes the testicles to removal of the testicles and not the penis, partially because I was becoming more accepting of sex and didn’t really aspire to desexualize myself anymore, but the idea of becoming more sexually passive still pleased me, or maybe it was the idea of sexuality independent of something so lowly and animalistic as balls. Or maybe it was really still the outgrowth of that self-desexualizing urge., having atrophied after I became okay with sex, but still hanging on.
It’s also entirely possible that I just have a fetish for this because it is morbid, because it’s the destruction of a system of the body and that’s horrible and so a part of me loves it. Or, because it’s the death of one’s conventional manhood. Or, since reproduction is a signifier of life itself, because it’s sort of like dying without dying. It could be the minimalism of technically being able to have sex, but not easily, and not having any urge to. It could be specifically about the capacity for love without sex. It could be all of these things, really.
Interesting. Thank you for the response. I wonder if there’s a bit of eugenics in the mix too. Like your moms reaction is that the abuser should be castrated but this wouldn’t actually prevent the victim from being hit. The only real thing that would accomplish is the inability for the abuser to make babies. I wonder if she said “he should be killed" instead if there would be a different impact. Maybe it’s a way to self-impose eugenics onto yourself without entirely abandoning sex. Like a lion ripping out its teeth and claws to not be a threat anymore. (The threat being abusive genes.) Not that you are abusive, it’s just what your feelings maybe tell yourself.
It’s interesting because it feels like opposite of what I have in a way. I feel others will see my motives are impure so I play into that role instead of trying to somehow provide evidence that my motives are pure.
Another consequence of my initial derision of sex is that I still refuse to see it as the ‘main thing’ for most beings, let alone people. A lion is worthless without its teeth and claws, those are its ‘main thing’. Sex is required for a form of ‘completeness’, but it’s not required to be you. You can be flawed and empty, but you can still be you, without sex. Not that absence of sex automatically makes one flawed and empty, but it does make someone ‘incomplete’, in a sense. At least to me.
As for what my mom said, I think it was just because castration = debilitation = punishment. Or in other words, it’s no different from Mario stealing your liver because you said something a Twitch streamer didn’t like. Not because your liver caused it, just because, fuck you, Mario is going to take your liver.
As for motives, I personally am more likely to worry that I seem childish in my single-minded pursuit of something I want than that I seem ‘impure’. Like what I want makes me seem like a kid nudging for candy or something. Throughout my childhood and teen years, I was far more susceptible to embarrassment than to real guilt.
I’ve been making memes too