@Zenitsu New episode. This is the guy I was telling you about
I’ve heard psychopaths tend to be more bisexual. I think it does come from a muted sense of disgust. They also seem to be prone to more disgusting paraphilias. Sexual disgust is what drives selectivity. Anyone who is attracted to lepers probably also has a muted disgust response. By default you are supposed to be somewhat disgusted by genitals because stds could be there but arousal overwrites that. Theres also cases of people with very high disgust response who could be bisexual or attracted to lepers because their ability to attach is equally high. However homosexuality doesn’t seem like the muted disgust the way bisexuality does. It seems the digust is inverted where the opposite sex is more repulsive. Even in heterosexuality the same sex is more repulsive. Lesbians especially seem very high disgust and like mostly clean women. Homosexual men seem a little bit less disgusted than heterosexual women in the sense heterosexual women like a man in clean clothes and homosexual men like a man in dirtier clothes. Lesbians seem the same in liking clean clothes and heterosexual men seem to like a woman in dirty clothes as well. I think it’s that men themselves are hornier in general and “excuse” more disgusting things because of that.
Men are a bit messier too. If you’re truly only attracted to men then seeing how a woman is usually clean and sterile, your mind might begin to associate slight messiness with desirability. I.e “If men behave this way, it must be better and the best things are hotter.”
In terms of wanting to be hit, I think it comes from wanting a hug (comfort) in a state of sensory deprivation (touched starved basically). Though for one reason or another directly asking for a hug is impossible. Maybe you really were being bad and caused a fire but the need for comfort doesn’t disappear, I think it recreates itself as a need for any physical attention. “I’m not being ignored or abandoned when I’m being hit therefore I hope to be hit.”
I think self-harm could be a continuation of that need except when being hit is also impossible, you hug yourself by hurting yourself because at least sensory input places you out of a sensory deprived state.
I think “prison gay” is a similar thing as well, where if sex with the opposite sex is impossible then the same sex becomes desirable. Though this extends to any situation where the opposite sex feels unobtainable like being stranded on an island with only the same sex. I hear women in prison become aggressively lesbian and literally shame the women who aren’t lol. Men in prison aren’t exactly the same. First of all it has to be your own perception of being unobtainable, like if you know you’ll get out of prison later and or you can manipulate guards to help you have sex with a woman or you’re mildly asexual you’re probably not going to go gay. Also it’s depicted as only a dominance thing, when really even if the man raped a submissive man, the rapist gets irritable, clingy and distressed if their sub is hurt or taken away. This means an attachment is being formed even if it’s in a fucked up “only I can be the one to hurt you.” way.
I used to make friendships with gay males where I would let them sexually solicit me and never reciprocate but never lay down any boundaries because their advances would gratify me and make me feel valuable, basically stroke my ego with how much they wanted to stroke my dick
I would even bear with them when they had meltdowns and try to guilt trip me with sadboy behavior because I wouldn’t give them what they wanted, assure them I care about them, just not like that, but never ever actually snap back at them to stop fagging out at me and stop guilt tripping me, because it was all so intoxicating with how worthy it made me feel
Good catch. If you can eat a human, you can be anything sexually.
Yes, exactly.
That is interesting. Nicolosi talked about the resentment homosexual men feel towards women.
You are so intelligent. Has anyone told you that? That’s a very clever observation.
I know a guy who likes to be hit. He’s also a deeply emasculated man, and he likes to be humiliated – BUT he also prances around like a tough guy alpha male. He’s very closed off, never ever shows genuine emotion.
Maybe he likes to be hit because it’s the “tough,” “cool” way of asking for a hug?
Yeah, I agree with you. That’s probably what it is. Kabi Nagata described being hugged the same way that heroin users describe heroin.
This is extremely embarrassing, but I’ve tried it on myself, and it’s exactly as she described. It’s like a warmth that moves through your entire body.
A lot of men hire prostitutes to hug them for this reason.
Indigo, you need to gain more confidence in yourself and your natural masculinity. You don’t need to deprecate yourself or get entangled in fucked-up relationships
Yes it’s definitely the cool indirect way of asking for a hug.
Yes. Usually people tell me it through a wall of stress/shame. I like that you don’t seem stressed when calling me that.
Ah that’s upsetting. I hope you’ll be able to get warmth from better sources soon. I’ve been in moods before where hugs feel empty. The parasocial to transactional nature of the dynamic would prevent me from feeling it from a prostitute.
I just listened a few days ago. It was a very good podcast. The interviewer did an amazing job, too.