A thread where I post the fruit of mental activity that I wasted on Youtube comments sections

Not for Posterity
1

In response to one person claiming comedy has fallen off, to which another person said, ‘You can be funny without being offensive.’:

I don’t think you should have to “have to” do something to be allowed to do something. I don’t think just because “you can” do something without doing something else justifies overgrown toddler adults forcing other adults to be subjected to nanny control of their expression to a degree fit for toddlers.

But also sometimes when people try to reclaim the ‘glory’ of the ‘offensive humor’ days, they act like they do have to ‘be offensive’, which usually leads to very forced “okhey, hwhat do the liberuls don’t want me tuh saey?” and often it deflates into the same three jokes about Africans and maybe a handful of jokes regarding other ‘dangerous’ other topics that usually work as well as attempting to dribble a severed head like a basketball. Not because of some moral obligation not to find them funny, but because there doesn’t need to be a moral obligation not to find them funny for them not to be funny, they just aren’t funny.

2

In reply to someone using ‘scare quotes’ around the word ‘artwork’ on account of said artwork being racist, as if that somehow makes it fall outside the definition of ‘artwork’:

That’s not how you use quotation marks. The definition of words does not move out of the way in fear of your indignation.

3

In reply to a post about how probability manipulation being the best superpower because you could just make outcome whatever you want be 100% likely:

This isn’t so much a statement about what the best power would be as it is about how not to write superpowers. If you write any superpower as having no limitations/finitude and no cost, of course people are going to abuse it. This isn’t just having probability manipulation, it’s basically omnipotence with no strings attached.

A balanced probability manipulation would actually manipulate probabilities that exist, it would be about changing the weight of outcomes that are actually potentially there, not rearranging reality so that new possible outcomes exist. Like, you can add a 15% chance to something that isn’t fixed. It manipulates whatever randomness secretly exists in the universe so that what can go one way or another will go one way rather than another, figuring to it being 1.15 times as likely as it is.

If you’re dead set on saying “but there is no randomness”, then maybe it does make small, tangible changes, but the important thing is that being able to rewrite reality futurewards is a stupid and overpowered ability for any main character to have, and horrifying for any fallible human being to have.

4

React video doesn’t contain the Youtuber talking

“yOUTUBE IS DEVOLVING INTO RECYCLED CONTENT AND PEOPLE ARE USING IT AS EASY MONEY!”

React video contains the Youtuber talking

“hE’S LENGTHENING IT TO GET MORE WATCH TIME BY TREACHEROUSLY ADDING HIS OWN INPUT!”

5

In response to the UK government suing Steam for dumb reasons:

I say we (American imperialists) confiscate the UK from the UK government and declare Gabe Newell supreme leader of Britain

6

Hahaha

7

In response to “not me reading ‘weird AI rules’ as ‘weird al (the musician) rules’ and wondering what freaky stuff they were doing with weird al D:”:

I wonder if there are any Weird Al Yankovic deepfakes

8

In reply to a picture of someone putting a needle to a balloon, labelling the latter ‘male ego’ and the former ‘literally anything’:

Buzzfeed feminists exist in a perpetual state of unearned condescension and smugness because it is their sole source of worth. Images like this exemplify that fact. It doesn’t matter whether what you say is true, only that it is condescending and fabricates a sense of superiority through an established format. Since everyone who wants to agree with you can simply shift their perspective to make you look right, it doesn’t matter that you’re wrong. The irony being, of course, that you all have to lobotomize yourselves in order for the techniques you use to look smart to work. You are all infants mutually affirming your superior wit and intellect through imbecilic circlejerking. Your culture is worthless. Your very online presence evokes high-pitched nasal trilling and self-awarded ‘wins’ to arguments, “murders” by words. All only in the context of your stunted self-assurance. You are plebeian and your humor will be forgotten at best, spat upon in memory at worst. You are an overgrown child who cannot even comprehend the words you regurgitate enough to know when to use them. This comment, alone, attests to that.

9

In response to someone accusing ‘dangerous’ books of having the potential to ‘do real harm’ by ‘radicalizing’ people:

The fact that you regard the books as actively ‘causing real harm’ by actively ‘radicalizing’ people rather than being passively read and agreed with by people put said people in the passive state, showing that you, and by extension your ideology, are and is inherently infantilizing towards people, casting them as infants who need to have what they’re allowed to perceive, and by extension think, moderated for them by a nanny authoritarian figure, because you believe they have no intellect, will nor wisdom–ultimately, no agency to choose what they agree with–and are instead passively brainwashed by all they are allowed to perceive. This is the exact same thought wavelength as cattlebrained soccer moms thinking that kids seeing violence makes them violent, except worse because you’re talking about grown-ass adults. Go back into your Reddit hole and quit projecting your developmentally arrested condition onto all of humanity but for some imaginary, omnibenevolent elite that you bootlick by implication.

10

It is pretty sad how normal thought and sentiment has become pathologized.

11

In response to someone saying that acknowledging that both sides of a war think they’re the good guys and that assigning “good guy” and “bad guy” roles is overly simplistic is a ‘logical fallacy’ called ‘bothsidesism’:

“Having nuance is bad because I gave it a silly name and called it a ‘logical fallacy’ (whoever uses this phrase is automatically the intellectual party in any debate) also because I’m incapable of thinking outside my highly subjective worldview that is childishly simplistic enough to assign ‘good guy’ and ‘bad guy’ roles to anyone and everyone, so I characterize this fault as a sign of conviction–and in turn, I consider the very mental capacity even to comprehend opposing worldviews except to sneer and patronize them as a lapse in that selfsame virtue. Ignorance is strength, after all!”

12

In response to a Youtube Shorts video of a Tumblr thread in which one of the people was being a little bitch to another by calling them artistically out of touch for not knowing that an image was supposedly about beauty being ‘skin deep’:

People who are ‘deep’ in one of a handful of stock ways to be ‘deep’ are shallow, pretentious and stupid

13

In response to a comment, summarizing that comment:

“I saw a little kid regurgitating their parent’s political viewpoints, but since I agreed with them I will characterized it as their stunning and brave stance of their own, made from their own volition, and I will furthermore attribute superior virtue and enlightenment to the child because Reddit has genuinely disabled my capacity to think”

14

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ZCorGka68VY

“No, realistically they both accuse the purple guy of being a fencesitter with no conviction who thinks he’s above it all for not taking a decisive stance because conviction can only take the form of one of their polarized viewpoints (and, in all likelihood, each only considers their polarized viewpoint to be conviction, whereas the other is wretched depravity)”

15

To someone asking, “What is a circle jorke[sic]”:

"When people in a group have the same view and everyone in that group affirms all the others that said view is correct and/or that having it proves some kind of personal superiority. They keep expressing this one view even though everyone already agrees with it, just so everyone else in the group can continue to agree and assure them that they’re very perceptive and right and smart/empathetic/pragmatic/whatever for thinking that same thing.

Conversely, if anyone comes in and disagrees, the whole group shouts them out and talks over them like a classroom of irate five-year-olds bullying their substitute Kindergarten teacher to tears. Then they all pat each other on the back."

16

I think it’s because when you really look at it, Star Wars and WH40K are the same story from opposite perspectives.

One side sides with a collectivist cosmic force that pulls all living beings in the cosmos, or at least all that are attuned to it, together in a psychic unity, that has its own will, but doesn’t require all people to attune themselves to that will.

The other side is an empire of man, focused on bending that same force to their will, and on asserting the will of man as the dominant force in the universe.

In Star Wars, the Force, as it’s simply called, is blindly trusted because it’s just treated as the essence of life itself. People who want to bend it to their will are essentially characterized as abusers in an abstract sense, because they bend and break this ‘essence of life’ to benefit their own lives.

In WH40K, the Immaterium is not life, but mind, and it is biased towards the darkness, the nightmares, because when you mix the bad and the good indiscriminately, the bad tends to destabilize the good. To follow the Warp would be the macrocosm of giving in to your every irrational whim. It makes sense to want to dominate that which is made up of thoughts and emotions, because in real life people are expected to control their emotions and get ahold of their thoughts.

Nonetheless, the commonality is basically good enough to turn Redditors evil because big empire, big man is the kind of ‘power’ that they love to fight for the sake of doing so, and not really for the sake of justice. They do it because the underdog is always right according to the cheap media they wrongfully use as credo rather than potato-chip entertainment. If there’s no boundary between their real beliefs and their fictional consumption, why would there be one between one fiction and another? Their adherence to their principles would almost be admirable if their principles weren’t so fucking dumb, and themselves formed by them lacking principles to the point where they listen to, and thus become, screaming imbeciles online that demand that everyone listen to them unconditionally as they spread their progressivist dogshit dogmas.

17

Right, right, because the only two (2) states of being are

  1. “stereotypical” behavior (which more than half the time is simply not betraying your beliefs and culture, because to wishy-washy Redditors the mere expectation that one adheres to one’s beliefs is a ‘stereotype’),

and

  1. completely homogenous, bland, HR-approved progressive secular humanist cattle ideology that updates like Windows when a Nintendo Switch acolyte suddenly “realizes” another thing to be wrong and an incomprehensible social injustice that should have been recognized from the moment we crawled out of the primordial soup that le Soyence hypothesized and thus decreed because if you don’t believe in it you’re a gristchin and therefore stewpid

. . .

No, but seriously, ideological differences are more profound than being a different kind of brown, and if you say you’re for ‘diversity’ but only care about diversity when it comes to hijabs, tacos and anime, you display only the capacity to think in preformatted ways that have been fed to you through buzzwords and generic, mass-produced propaganda. You want the body of ‘diversity’ with the soul of generic ecumenicalism that lobotomizes everything meaningful from every culture and religion to be able to include the hollowed-out, theme park husks of them all.

18

Why are like ~29% of all creepypastas just like

“I am a functional adult, but possess an incredibly tender and sensitive connection to some random piece of media from my childhood such that my earth would be shattered if I had any sort of negative experience with it that alters how I perceive it. I went to a garage sale/thriftstore/crackhouse and got an extra-used copy of it for free after the deep thirst for nostalgia wallowing that comes up from my core became too loud to ignore. But when I watched it, it was directed by Tim Burton, who was experimenting at the time with collaging human eyes onto characters, and having them menstruate out of their tear ducts. There was WW1 footage, and random Russian text cards. Then Azazel revealed himself to me within the tape, right as Billy from Billy & Mandy started giving birth for some reason. My soul was shattered and I am now all but an empty husk. I am writing this to you as a PSA in case you somehow come across this exact DVD, as it mailed itself to Walmart after my eyes exploded out of my head and crude oil began dripping out the also-blackened sockets. Don’t watch it. It will change your legal name, race, and sexual orientation, and will also make you commit tax fraud. If you already would, it will make you commit 35% more. I will now go do the hemp fandango in my attic.”

19

Holy shit every time this caricature of a family is posted one of you fuckers comes in to whine in their defense like it’s normal, PLEASE PUT A CARTOONISHLY OVERSIZED BOTTLE CORK IN YOUR MOUTH AND GAG ON IT

20

(in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve given up on the formatting)